Christmas News Letter Parodies -
The Hynes Family Goes Around the World

Dear family and friends,

This last year has been filled with travels, fun, and family times for the Hynes family! We share with you just a sprinkling of our happenings in 2005.

Our travels this year were a little less than last, mainly due to award ceremonies being located stateside. At least we were able to get to Brazil once before returning in March for Bob's Astronomical Engineer of America award. And Brazil-- what a blast! First, we used Julie's fluent Portuguese to get us some really good deals on colonial gems (at least, Jules is sure they said that's what those rocks were). Then, we took out our 60-footer on the Atlantic and finally got to use our deep sea diving equipment again (can you believe it's been three years since our Marianas Trench dive? Time flies!!) After Keira got over the bends (it took just a couple of days), we did our hunt in the Amazon. That was fun! Apparently there is an endangered croc we did not know about (no signs were posted in the entire jungle!) but we were at least able to forge two pairs of boots and a good fillet before the arrest.

Bob has been doing well, but his colon hasn't been the same since he ate the 47 Gordita Supremes (you may recall in last year's letter we mentioned he won the 7th Annual Taco Bell Beans 'n' Beer Eating Contest at our lakeside shopping mall). Julie kept telling him to order "fresco style" but he insisted on going all-out to be fair. After the initial 30-day cleansing period, we were able to leave the house again for our cruise to the Yucatan, which was so much fun (though the dietary restrictions were mucho tough)! Bob is looking forward to his return at the 8th annual Beans 'n' Beer, which will feature Chalupas and Keystone, his favorites.

Julie has been in good health despite a minor setback. Unfortunately, while in Sudan she contracted a feisty case of diphtheria. After the elephant tours, she started coughing quite a bit- -but we attributed the congestion to the Saharan dust and the near strangulation by the Brazilian natives (see above). The illness prevented us from traveling down through Zimbabwe again, where we were hoping to celebrate Bob's reunion with his Yale 19th Century African Studies professor. But, Botswana 2006 -- here we come!

Last, but certainly not least! ... Keira is finishing up her master's degree in public relations. Combined with her degree in business marketing, Keira has already used dual talents to develop advertising strategies for such clients as Larry the Cable Guy (you may have seen his new "Spit-R-Son" ad for Skoal. . . an idea brought to you entirely by Keira!). She has turned quite a profit, and consequently is starting her own Nasdaq stock (GIT-R). We will let you know when it goes public so you, too, can invest!

That sums up just a few highlights of our year. We hope you are well and wish you a happy holiday season!

Much love,

Bob, Julie and Keira