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Four Songs

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01 A practical joke
02 My grandparents die
03 English Tour
04 Barn swallows
05 Buying hubcaps
06 Group photos
07 Mr. Science
08 Backpacking, Middle English
09 Leukemia
10 Comfort Clothes
11 Marmots and Texas
12 Eagle, Turkey and Emu
12 Accident and Hike

From Alert Readers:
01 In the Foothills
02 Excess
03 Things unsaid
04 11 Kids
05 Multiple Choice
06 . . . bit my ear
07 Facts and Stats
08 Neiheisel Review
09 Family and Horses
10 Sing a Song
11 The Professional
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Erma Bombeck & Martha Stewart
Around the World
Coping with DUI
Defining Pretentious
The 12 McQ's

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Dear Family and Friends:

I spent a long time trying to work out this year's letter. So long that I fell asleep at the keyboard and had a dream about the family making it onto the American Idol show. Well, nightmare really.

Here are some out-takes:

(to the music of "These are a Few of My Favorite Things")

Transforming Dad's PC into a computer game service;
Pressing for my license just to make Mom nervous
Cash gifts from family without any strings;
These are a few of my favorite things

Outward Bound challenges I liked quite a lot;
School study, room cleanup, and physical labor - not
Black baggy trousers and buffalo wings;
These are a few of my favorite things

When I get lectured, When I forget things,
When forced to the house of the Lord
I simply remember my favorite things and then
I don't feel ... so ... bored

(To the tune of Ricky Martin's "Living La Vida Loca")

I'm into fast computers, 2 gigahertz is really swell
Though I got my drivers license, not having a car is living hell
The folks always lecture me on things that you know are quite inane,
yeah, they make me go insane
Upside inside out, I'm living la vida loca
Teenage angst pulls you down, I'm living la vida loca
The thought of not getting out of High School just makes me choke, uh
I'm still a child to ya, so I'm a living teenage loca

(to the tune of John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High")

When I first came to the mountains, our life was far away;
And the thought of moving didn't seem so wrong
Now the kids are really growing here and getting smarter all the time;
They change so fast, they won't last for long
I've biked green mountain passes, I've skied the hills above;
Watched the freezing fog flock our Ponderosa trees
I've seen so many colors, got a palette of new ones that I love;
At sunset you see Bates' purple mountains majesties
And with the Colorado Rocky Mountain High
I've occasionally had to bring fire down on my guys
They've got so many fun things to do it's not hard to see whyyyyy
Rocky Mountain high, Colorado, Rocky Mountain higheee, Colorado

(To the tune of "Let it Snow")

For part time jobs I am so thankful, and volunteer work is so delightful
But the thought of another career, uh-oh. I said no, I said no, I said no
But Pam is a lot more practical, my whinging she says is theatrical
This house we bought to show. Dirt must go, dirt must go, dirt must go
So when I finally get it right, after cleaning up a storm
Then I know she'll hold me tight, and tonight I'll really be warm!
So this letter is slowly dying, and to you we are goodbying
Just wanted to let all of you know: Ho, Ho, Ho; gotta go, love you so.

PS: The American Idol judges gave us a critical drubbing, and then fired the staff responsible for letting us through the screening process. It was then that I woke up with drool on the desk, QWERTY spelled backward on my forehead, and with the inspiration for this year's letter. Of course, Dan and Mike heatedly deny they would ever sing anything sung by Julie Andrews or Ricky Martin.

This is one page of over four dozen devoted to Christmas news letters. The main Christmas News Letters page has links to more examples, plus some general guidelines and specific suggestions for writing Christmas news letters. If you have an example, either good or bad, that you'd like to share with the rest of the world, send it to me and I'll add it to these pages.

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This page updated: June 21, 2014