Life Lessons from Sherlock Holmes
That Teal Hymnal
Sex, Money and Commitment
Things You'll Never See
Men, Women and Communication
Reflections on Three Score
What is a Devout Unitarian Universalist?
My Spiritual Journey
Adventures of a UU Web Master
Our reading this morning comes from the Internet. Years ago I would have seen this posted on the bulletin board in the break room, with 14 generations of what we used to call "Xerox pimples". This year my brother sent it to me, with 14 layers of forwarding arrowheads. It wasn't signed, so I regret to say I can't acknowledge the author. It's titled "To Be Six Again":
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
"I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn and a soda. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being six again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size!"
Moral: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.
[This was the reading for the sermon Men, Women and Communication.]
This is one of a series of homilies I wrote for the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Stanislaus County, in Modesto, California, from 2003 - 2014.